So, long story short. I pull into Kinko's quick and end up leaving the steering wheel turned at 90 degrees (all the way turned to the left). I hop out, take care of business and return to the car.

1) I put the key in the ignition and turn
2) Car does not start and I get the "Key removed from ignition" message
3) I remove the key and it returns to its normal status
4) I enter the key again and turn while jerking the steering wheel (which seems locked) but no luck and I get the same "Key removed from ignition" message even though the key IS in the ignition
5) I am 3 seconds away from panicking when I yank the steering wheel hard to the right and turn the key and the engine turns over. I adjust the steering wheel to due north and make sure the engine will restart.

Is that just the steering wheel lock feature like Grandma has in her old Caprice or what? That "Key is removed from ignition" message even though the key was clearly in the ignition scared me......

 

This has never happened to me on my 996 but it has happened on other cars.