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-   -   997.2 is nice, but won't make you happy (https://www.6speedonline.com/forums/997/169619-997-2-nice-but-wont-make-you-happy.html)

tromero Apr 22, 2009 06:08 PM

997.2 is nice, but won't make you happy
 
I realize this is a car forum and I have posted numerous times. However, today I would like to remind everyone what is really important by sharing with you my own story, which ended just the other day.

I met a girl earlier this year and fell head over heels. I think we both did. She was only a month removed from a long term relationship which ended because the guy did not want marriage or kids. (she is 28, I am 41, her ex 44)

anyway, we are at the point where we are planning our wedding, picking baby names and the whole deal. The ex gets wind of this and suddenly does a complete reversal and decides he now wants to marry her also. She brushes him off but he was relentless.

The day after Easter Sunday she told me she needed "some space". I agreed and told her to take whatever time she required to figure stuff out. Two days late she called and begged my forgiveness, apologized profusely and swore she would never waver again. I accepted and we moved on.

The next day she suggested we go to Key West for the weekend. We did and the whole way down she was reading bridal magazines, planning our wedding and being the perfect girlfriend. Saturday was great but on Sunday we are by the pool and the ex calls. She takes the call and excuses herself to "see what he wants" and says she will be right back. She was gone for an hour and returned cold and distant. I asked if everything was okay, she says it was.

So we shower and go to dinner and after ordering wine and food she goes to the ladies room. She returns in a few minutes and informs me that her ex proposed and she accepted. I felt the life drain out of my body and a deep numbing pain overcome me. I had no words. It is unlike anything I have ever felt. We were supposed to leave the next morning but she wanted to leave that night. The ride home was somber and I felt like death.

In effect, the same woman who was planning our wedding all weekend accepted someone elses proposal that night. To say I was distraught is an understatement. I prayed for death as a kinder alternative to feeling this way.

I reflected on my life and how fortunate I have been in some regards then realized that none of it really mattered. I would gladly trade my 997 for an old beater if it meant having her back. Things don't matter, people do.


Sign me,

a heartbroken 6speeder

JoelPirela Apr 22, 2009 06:17 PM

wow, you are such a gentleman. I would've left her stranded in Key West and have the ex come and pick her up. Glad that she did it now and not when you are married (and with kids!)... wow. that's cold.

spudz5 Apr 22, 2009 06:24 PM

wow that truely sucks. but on the flip side it is obvious she was not over her ex and if you two did get married and she had feelings for her ex the situation could have been much worse. best of luck to you.

GT3 Chuck Apr 22, 2009 06:27 PM

you got it wrong dude...the things that people do matter...get over this...she doesn't deserve your broken heart or tears...

yrralis1 Apr 22, 2009 06:30 PM

No freaking way . That woman did you a favor by NOT marrying you because its obvious that her commitment was about as deep as my belly button .

Imagine had you married only to face this later on . By the way .. she is HIS headache now because if you think that she isn;t goiung to do this to him at some point then you really are blind .

Look -- you tell her that Tromero does not sit on the second burner to anyone and break all ties. It's obvious who number 1 is --HERSELF .

Keep your car and enjoy your life .
In your spare time perhaps you ought to take some self inventory as to why you cling to an unhealthy relationship . Get yourself healthy first and then you will attract healthy relationships .

I understand that you hurt in the moment .. but that emotional pain might lead to growth .

surfingbuddhist Apr 22, 2009 06:43 PM

Wow, I really feel for you. But it's good to get out now before this went further. She showed her true colors and when her ex finally realizes that he did a 180 ONLY b/c she was marrying you, things will start to fall apart for them. Please do us and yourself a favor....DO NOT TAKE HER BACK!

Swoody Apr 22, 2009 06:45 PM

Over a woman you just met earlier this year you are so distraut?? Holeee Hell man....get over it!!! Your first mistake was going after a girl about half your age...you have lived twice the life she has and there is no more to it than that. Consider yourself lucky that it did not progress to a 5-7 year relationship only for you to find out then that it is not what she was hoping for. I have seen it soo many times, there is nothing for you to do except wish her the best and get on with it (your life!!!!)

boxtaboy Apr 22, 2009 06:45 PM


Originally Posted by yrralis1 (Post 2356864)
No freaking way . That woman did you a favor by NOT marrying you because its obvious that her commitment was about as deep as my belly button .

Imagine had you married only to face this later on . By the way .. she is HIS headache now because if you think that she isn;t goiung to do this to him at some point then you really are blind .

Look -- you tell her that Tromero does not sit on the second burner to anyone and break all ties. It's obvious who number 1 is --HERSELF .

Keep your car and enjoy your life .
In your spare time perhaps you ought to take some self inventory as to why you cling to an unhealthy relationship . Get yourself healthy first and then you will attract healthy relationships .

I understand that you hurt in the moment .. but that emotional pain might lead to growth .

+1. great advice.

Tromero, really sorry to read about this, but this is really kind of a blessing that she sprung this on you now instead of later. Reveals her true colors. She will probably come crawling back to you after a while being back with her ex. Just remember how bad she made you feel, and never look back.

It may seem like life sucks now, but it will get much better for you when you eventually find someone else....And you will. Someone who does that to you doesn't deserve your effort.

Bara Apr 22, 2009 06:49 PM

sorry for your situation and i dont mean to come across as a jerk but you're not in your 20's anymore. at 41 you should have mastered your emotions and if you havent, tell yourself to stop being a pu$$y about it and move on like it didnt happen.

many women have probably come and gone by now in your life so dont get hung up on it. better now than if you were much more invested time and money wise with this girl.

kc911 Apr 22, 2009 07:03 PM

Sorry to hear about it but I agree with some of the others....that's probably the best thing that could have happened. That flighty biaatch won't be married to anyone long. Seriously, don't marry someone you have known for less than a year, or three! And for the love of God, don't even think of trading a Porsche for that woman!!!!
Good luck, you'll find love when the person is right, and make sure she is supportive of your Porsche habit!!

Dave07997S Apr 22, 2009 07:06 PM


Originally Posted by yrralis1 (Post 2356864)
No freaking way . That woman did you a favor by NOT marrying you because its obvious that her commitment was about as deep as my belly button .

Imagine had you married only to face this later on . By the way .. she is HIS headache now because if you think that she isn;t goiung to do this to him at some point then you really are blind .

Look -- you tell her that Tromero does not sit on the second burner to anyone and break all ties. It's obvious who number 1 is --HERSELF .

Keep your car and enjoy your life .
In your spare time perhaps you ought to take some self inventory as to why you cling to an unhealthy relationship . Get yourself healthy first and then you will attract healthy relationships .

I understand that you hurt in the moment .. but that emotional pain might lead to growth .


Oh dude you nailed it on the head..

Dave

jpcourt Apr 22, 2009 07:06 PM

I think over time you will see she did you a big favor... good luck and please under no circumstances take her back, she really showed you her true colors.

adias Apr 22, 2009 07:06 PM


Originally Posted by Swoody (Post 2356888)
... Your first mistake was going after a girl about half your age...you have lived twice the life she has and there is no more to it than that. ...

+1 Find a woman your age.

shuffles Apr 22, 2009 07:26 PM

I feel for you. As everybody else said, better now than later. Indeed, you win some and you lose some, but in the end is when you realize which ones you lost and which ones you won. So try not to stress over it now, I think it's a win for you in the long run. In the short run, take that 997.2 out pick up fresh stuff and bang your troubles away!

nucjd Apr 22, 2009 07:32 PM

tro. I feel your pain. Many years ago I was engaged and walked in to find her in bed with another man. Everything you wrote reminded me of that time. IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. If you don't mind a little advice.
1. Tigers don't change their stripes. Do you think you will be the only one she destroys along the way? You will not be. The good thing is there are no kids involved and you will not be paying alimony.
2. She WILL be back. Be prepared. You have not heard the last from this person. Be strong my friend because you will have moved on when you hear back from her.
3. You are correct a 997 will not make you happy but I am betting you get a smile when you roll on the throttle.
4. Let us know if any of us can help. If I lived closer I would have to drag you out for some drinks.


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