My condolences Gary, my heart and prayers go out to you during this challenging time. You often mentioned Cindy in your various postings, it was crystal clear how special she was.

Stay strong, we are here for support if you need us...

Sincerely,

Jay

 

Gary, so sorry to hear this news. My condolences.

JC.

 

Gary
So sorry to hear about your loss.

 

Gary....sorry 4 u loss.....prayers 2 u and family..............

 

Sorry to hear Gary. Hang in there.

 

Sorry for your loss Gary, prayers to you and your family......

 

My deepest sympathies.

 

Very sorry to hear this Gary. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

 

Gary,

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Tom

 

Gary,

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Michael

 

My condolences. I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

Gary: Just getting back from a similar difficult time in my family. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. You are a valued member of this forum and if there is anything that we can do for you, please let us know.

 

My condolences to you and your family.

 

Gary, I'm sorry for your loss and only wish the best for you and your family.

 

I thank you all for your kind thoughts, and if you'd like to know more about Cindy I'm preparing a memorial page for her that is probably usable even at this early stage. She liked sports cars and had several of her own, including an NSX, but her real love was horses and there's a nice video there from the days when we were young and she was not so fragile as recent memory insists.

I'm going all 21st century with this because she insisted on having no memorial ceremony, no memorial stone, nor even a burial. Just cremation and her ashes to be scattered at a place beloved to her. She also made me promise to let her die at home and "not stuck full of tubes." I found that to be the most difficult promise I've ever had to fulfill. The impulse to try anything at all to extend her life was almost unconquerable. But I promised and it went with the one fifty years ago.

I haven't come back sooner because I'm having trouble dealing with this. Not just the grief, which is bad enough, but I'm suddenly without a rudder. Men grow up -- or at least we did in my generation -- being taught how to be a good husband, then a good father, and even how to retire with dignity and plan for the day you left your wife a widow. But 'widower' isn't something they taught me.

I'm working on it. Today, I left the house for the first time in a month, and I just drove. Put the C2S on cruise control pointed down one of our long mountain highways. Spent the time talking to some people I've loved, and wishing they could answer. Went 129 miles according to the trip computer, and averaged only 44.2 mph, so I was fairly sedate about it. Most of the time. Stopped for lunch and a fool in a pick-up truck tried to dispute my accelerating to move over from a disappearing lane. Not that I did anything but humiliate him, but I find there's a lot of anger buried under the grief. Having to watch my high school sweetheart die and not being able to find a way to help beyond holding her hand and moistening her lips has me tied in knots.

The car did well as a place to meditate. Hope I do as well as a widower.

Gary