New Stock Market Terms

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Old Oct 24, 2008 | 10:26 PM
  #1  
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New Stock Market Terms

I cut and pasted this out of the Investing thread - I thought it was very funny and wanted to share if you had not seen it:


NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
 
Old Oct 25, 2008 | 02:34 AM
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It's brilliant!

 
Old Oct 25, 2008 | 09:49 AM
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ha ha that's funny.
 
Old Oct 25, 2008 | 10:55 AM
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There's a lot of truth to that.
 
Old Oct 25, 2008 | 01:22 PM
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LMFAO at the P/E Ratio
 
Old Oct 25, 2008 | 02:41 PM
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Nice!
 
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