ha, you can't be totally tech challenged if you have a PTT. As for me, I have an S 600 ('07) and they're the nicest of Mercedes sedans, but a bit boring.
My wife has a 2012 X3 and they drive nicely but a little boring as well.
I have a 2010 Panamera 4S.
Don't know what to tell you about your car. Would a trade for a brand new one do it??

 

i watched a bone stock ptt run 12.2 at 118mph last night at the drag strip in less than ideal conditions....i believe the guy had his wife sitting in the back seat during his run awesome car, do want..i'm pretty certain with a few select mods this thing is capable of low 11's at 125 plus....insane for a 4000lbs plus 4 door.

 

seen a PTT run 11.67 bone stock a few weeks back at track event (amazing)
also with the right launch you can be mid 3 sec 0-60 even more amazing for a 4 door luxury car

 

Agreed.