Gentlemen,

I bring you the latest from our Leader, the Great One.

Enzo must be spinning at about 18000RPM.....

P.

A beautiful Italian sunset. The stunning backdrop of the mountain pass looms in the hazy distance, an ominous yet friendly giant that beckons me forth and throws down the ultimate driving challenge.

luigi saggigoulie, marketing chief at Ferrari hands me the keys to a beautiful red 360 CS.

'Journoman, it eez a onour to ande zeeze keys too suuch a dwiving legend' . 'Bloody hell Luigi old boy this baby just oozes sex '. 'It eez bwutiful no?, like Sophia Loren,' 'No Luigi, like a chilled glass of champers on a hot summers day, like a blood red rose petal gently glistening on the thigh of Aphrodite herself' . 'Oh Journoman, You are a king among men'

I turn the key and press the starter. The engine bursts into life. 'Crikey luigi, this bloody things got no carpets! and where is the cup holder? even Rance's RS has got a cup holder old boy'. I push on, loading up the chassis, building momentum. Using my applicator, I attack the pass. Here is an extract from my trusty dictaphone;

'This baby sits as flat as kate Moss at a limbo party. 3000 - 4000 - 5000, she growls like a tiger, like a manic chainsaw, a rasping growl that stirs the soul, 5500 she's whooping like ***** on Tony Blair at the labour party conference,................6000 WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG GGGGGG
'Bloody hell Luigi what is that? Is it a volcano erupting?, an earthquake, has somebody sat on the biggest whoopee cushion in the world? is it an atomic explosion? Duck! it must be a Tornado on it's final approach. NO. THE DARK LORD COMETH!!!! MUMMY I LOVE YOU, I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT WITH DOBBIN, HMMMMMM HMMMMMM HMMMMMMMM CALLING BIG PISTON CALLING BIG PISTON. WE ARE UNDER STEADY STATE ATTACK. REPEAT STEADY STATE ATTACK ..............................................'Thi s is the Big Piston, whyest dust thou call me from my godly rubbings? 'BIG PISTON DO YOU HEAR THE WAIL OF THE DARK LORD? 'No.'
'YOU MUST HEAR HIM' 'No, I do not' WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGG GGG.
'WELL WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT THEN? 'Do not blaspheme in my presence you weasel it ist merely the noise engine starteth up. The biggeth one behindest your stupid journo head'. 'Big piston. I do not understand'. 'That ist because you are surely the most stupid disciple in the history of time. It is't not a valve that maketh the noise, it is't the second engine. The smalleth engine under your seat maketh the car go and the biggeth one in the back maketh only noise but it do make you feel like your worm will one day become two feet longeth. Drinketh from the cup of knowledge and you will surely find the answers you seek under the mark of the maker'

I stop the car and wipe the sweat from my manly brow. The car clicks as it slowly cools in the stillness of the evening. I take out my trusty Big Dong Meggaman multi tool and quickly remove the drivers seat. I see a small compartment labelled 'top secreto' I open it and inside, a work of art. A tiny Smart engine shoehorned into a space no bigger than a shoebox. I crawl under the rear PU and trace the drive train back. Sure enough, the diff links directly to that little smart engine.

I turn and face Luigi. 'Crikey old boy. That bloody great engine doesn't do anything but make a stonking great racket does it? He nods sheepishly. Then I remember the words of the Big Piston and walk to the rear of the car. With my Meggaman, I quickly remove the stylish Ferrari badge. Under it another badge, it reads 'TOYOTA MR2'

I turn again to see Luigi wiping tears from his little Italian eyes.

'Don't worry old boy, your secret is safe with me'


Journoman

 

while this guy is a demo, he knows his cars:

[from fchat]
Any case I have 5000 km on the car almost all track. Have used 3 sets of front tyres, one set of rear tyres and one set of pads (ouch! V. expensive!) and NO ONE can follow.No Porsche or Ferrari. Only an Enzo is quicker and only on a track where there is a long straight. On the twisty bits... bye bye.

 

Watt, I feel a disturbance in the Farce....

He will soon be here!

May the Farce be with You

 

same guy American living in France - note comment about Nring times

#16 01-22-2004, 11:40 AM
ChalStrad
Rookie
Not Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 34

Challenge Stradale

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a Stradale and have done 5000kms in it so far of which 3500 kms are track. So I am getting to know the car quite well.

Some comments:

Weight: Official dry weight 1180 kg
Official weight in running order 1280 kg

Now you have to consider certain things: these are eurospec #s US is heavier. These weights do not take any options into consideration. For example the roll bar weighs something like 25 kgs, the extinguisher system 10+kgs, glass windows 15 kgs etc etc. However, let's not forget that it is the unsprung weight of the car that is interesting - otherwise one should consider the weight difference between the people driving them.

Acceleration times: the 0-100 kph of 4.1 secs and 0-1000 metres of 22.1 secs was almost matched by the German publication Auto und Motor Sport, but the French have had trouble getting close to those numbers. I actually discussed this with a French journalist who did one of the first tests (Echappement magazine) and he admitted that they tried the launch control more than 20 times which tells you that they were not doing something right - a sister publication to that magazine was 1/10th quicker in damp conditions with the same exact car. Don't forget that these testers are more accustomed to doing standing starts in Fiat Pandas than Ferraris.

Noted a member claiming that a Gallardo was quicker round the Nordschleife than a CS: Who was driving ? In addition unless you are Walter Röhrl, Niki Lauda or some other superstar from yesteryear the Nordschleife is so difficult to get right that times are meaningless. What is interesting to note is that Dario Benuzzi is 1.2 secs slower round Fiorano in a CS than he is in an Enzo....THAT tells you how quick the car really is.

I have raced my car in club events at the Mas du Clos, Magny Cours, Le Luc etc and other than an Enzo who blows you away the minute there is a straight, no one can follow (including Porsche RS on slicks).

The CS is the best Ferrari I've ever owned or driven, but the real compliment came from Daniel Marin, President of Ferrari France, who said in an interview in the magazine Sport Auto that the CS was quite simply the BEST road car Ferrari had ever built....and there is a man who knows his Ferraris!

 

Watt, from someone who never cares about who is fastest when we're at the track it seems odd you seem to care so much in print?

This chappie in France obviously says his CS is the fastest thing out there, 'cept an Enzo, but then goes on to complain about driver differences at the 'ring? Ahhh well, at least he is happy in his car! :-)

I was at a track day with a chap called Michael Ledderman the other week, many of his clients are Fcar owner and drivers, but there were a good few Pcars out too, including your old yellow GT2, and the Pcars were all the fastest things out there by a long shot. Interestingly I spoke to a couple of the instructors he had, both racers with time in all the exotics. They both said the CS is fidgety and unpredictable at the edge, exactly the place a properly set up Pcar is in it's prime. Since I'll never approach that edge it's academic to me, but was interesting to hear, made me love my GT3 all the more!!

 

Saw one in silver this weekend in person. I must say this is a rather snappy looking vehical. In fact I asked the driver if I could sit in it to see if my 6'7" fame would fit. No avail...it was a dealer driving a cust car so he did not feel right letting anyone sit in it. I respect that and would expect nothing less had I done the same thing (lending my car out). I also saw a murci and gallardo parked next to them. To me...while the murci is awesome, I prefer to view my motor w/o having to lift the hood.

 

you can get lexan engine covers for the murci and gallardo

 

Andrew -- Given my last driving experience in both the CS and GT3 at Willow, the CS was clearly more planted than the GT3, especially through turn 8. Granted, the speeds at which I travel are definitely not at the ragged "edge" ala Todd. Both cars would turn comparable best times in the hands of qualified drivers, with the GT3 offering its outstanding performance at a bargain price. However, as hard as it may be to believe, the CS offers a much more exciting/thrilling driving experience. At least, that's my opinion based upon having had significant seat time in both cars.


You have to understand the Wattster -- whenever he starts making posts about how great his current car is -- a "For Sale" post is not far off. It's his "pump and dump" strategy for moving his pre-owned cars.

 

Gentlemen,

I never thought that this post would elicit such considered reponses, hate to think what would happen if I was ever to post something more serious!!

Anyway, I think Andrew hits the issue on the head with

"They both said the CS is fidgety and unpredictable at the edge, exactly the place a PROPERLY SET UP Pcar is in it's prime"

Out of the box the GT3 and the RS are rather conservative in their set up. Once this has been addressed however it is a differant story.

Having driven a CS I have to admitt that it is absolutlely stunning, the brakes are jsut the best I have ever experianced! It is a bit twitchy on the limit though even when the geometry has been optimised.

In closing, both great cars, both evenly matched. It just comes down to how big your cheque book is and if you are a Donkey or a Pig man I suppose!

For more words from the great man check out Journoman.com in a few weeks.

P.

 

Mr. RS,

Wonderfull post about your CS driving experience. I printed it and circulated it around my F-car brethren and after a few shouts of "Allah Akbars" and "Death to the Infidel Englishman who dares to desecrate Enzo's grave", they all admitted that it was one of the wittiest critiques that they ever read about the CS.

Personally, I agree that the CS is a wonderful creation. Infact, it is the only F-car that I would ever consider buying.

Looking forward to your next post.