A husband went to police station to report his missing wife:

Husband : I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.

Sergeant : What is her height ?

Husband : Oh, 5 something . . .

Sergeant : Build?

Husband : Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant : Color of eyes?

Husband : Never noticed.

Sergeant : Color of hair?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Sergeant : What was she wearing?

Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don't remember exactly.

Sergeant : Did she go in a car?

Husband : yes.

Sergeant : What kind of car was it?

Husband : 2015 Porsche Turbo S with the X50 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 3.8 liter Flat Six Twin Turbo Charged engine with Direct Injection generating 580 HP. 7-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door................. at this point the husband started crying...

Sergeant : Don't worry sir.......We'll find your car.

 

i should take offense but didn't because i totally understand. Which reminds me.... my husband took the audi to work yesterday due to heavy rain and news of multiple accidents on the highways. i had someone come to the house for an install and my husband's turbo was in the way. i meant to only move it 15 feet but ended up taking it for a spin for 15 miles. shhhh. good thing he didn't call the cops.

technically i did purchase the car for him...

 

Swap wife and husband and I have no doubt that is exactly how such a conversation would go if I absconded with her 911

 

My wife didn't appreciate this, btw.